Gathering Manna

When the children of Israel left Egypt they left a life of slavery and oppression and ventured into what they thought would  be a short trip back to the promise land. After being free for only a short time the food ran out. No longer able to provide for themselves they began to grumble, complain  and  long for the security that their captivity had brought them. God stepped in. He told them of his provision. Manna. A seed like wafer that tastes like honey.

The manna came with some instructions. They could only gather what they needed for that day. Any manna leftover would spoil overnight. The exception of that being the day before Sabbath. Then they would gather for two days. This manner of provision required only one thing from the Israelites: Trust.

They had to trust that God would provide the manna. They had to get up in the morning and go out and gather the manna. They had a choice, they could decided they were not going to gather the manna and accept the provision. They could have sat in their tent and said He is not going to provide. They could have waited until they starved to death. God always provided until the day they entered the promise land. They just had to go gather.

In the last year I have learned that God still provides daily. While manna does not rain down each day other provisions are given every day. Strength, mercy, grace, forgiveness, love and peace. These are the daily provisions that God gives us. He pours these out into our lives so that we can pour them into the lives of others. But we, like the Israelites, have to trust. God will only give us what we need for that moment.

A few months ago I found myself curled on the floor of our closet. I was overwhelmed with my life. I cried out to God. I told him that this was too much! That I could not continue. I told Him that I was at the end of my strength. I was in the closet for 20 minutes. When I came out I was not happier than I went in. I was still overwhelmed but I trusted that God had the strength to carry me through. In my closet I had gathered my manna for that day. I started each morning “gathering manna”. Some days I had to go back and ask for more manna, more strength. Over the months I learned that God is trustworthy. He  always provides but we have to gather.

Each day we wake up lacking something. Each day God provides exactly what we need. We just need to get up, walk out of our tent and gather the manna.

What Are You Holding Onto?

During my husband’s last year in seminary he was mentored by the pastor of the church we were attending. During one of his meetings with the pastor the comment was made that my husband would never be successful in ministry because he had married me. He was told that I would be a detriment to his ministry.

Now I do not know what the context of these comments were made only that they were. When I found out about this comment I decided that I would do everything in my power to prove him wrong. And so for the next 10 years every ministry that I undertook, every decision that I made about what I would become involved in, Sometimes even what I was going to wear to church or what purse I would carry was based on proving him wrong. I poured myself into being perfect. And I held on tightly to these comments.

In September of 2010 I was challenged to let go of the things of the past that were hindering my growth in ministry. I knew that in order to grow I had to let go of what I had been holding onto. I sent an e-mail to the pastor asking his forgiveness for holding the grudge. And I never expected to hear from him. But my conscious was clear and I felt better for the first time in 10 years.

Two days later I received a reply from him. He said that he had no recollection of ever making those statements. He had reviewed the file he had kept and had not made any notes indicating that he felt that way. He apologized for making them and for me having labored under them for 10 years. And that was it. For a decade of my life I had been working prove my worth to someone who didn’t even remember making the comments.

I tell you this because lately I have been cleaning out. Cleaning out closets, toy boxes,  drawers, and cars. And it got me wondering what else in my life I have been holding onto that needs to be cleaning out. Are there grudges that are keeping me bogged down? Are there attitudes that need to be checked? Are there relationships that need to be reevaluated?

The start of a new year brings the chance to look at what I have been holding onto and to ask the question if it is something that I want to take with me into the next year. So I challenge to do the same.

What are you holding onto?

Lessons of 2011.

As 2011 comes to an end I, for one am glad to see this year end and a new one full of possibilities begin. I am hoping that 2012 is a better year. As hard as this year has been there have also been great times of learning and personal growth.

I have decided that I would use this last blog post of 2011 to share with you some of the things I have learned; the good, bad and ugly of 2011

I am thankful for people and circumstances God uses in my life to sharpen me. Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

I am thankful for grace.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

I have discovered that though others may walk away from you in your greatest time of need your Savior never will.

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

I have discovered that God gives strength far beyond what you thought you had but he only gives what you need for that moment.

God is faithful, kind, generous and provides what you need all the time.

Life is full of risks. Take daring risks to love. Value your own dreams (they are God given). Take the risks necessary to nurture both.

It is not enough to say that you believe that God’s blood covers all sin. If you set limits on your own forgiveness or list sins as unforgivable you are telling others that you do not believe the blood covers their sins.

Sadly, the unsaved world is often more forgiving than Christians. Shouldn’t it be  the other way around. I mean if we have entered into a relationship with God by accepting the work of Christ, then we should freely pour the grace we have received onto others. Yet so often it is fellow Christians who show so little grace and so much judgment. Or more often they will only show grace once you “clean up your act.” Their grace is riddled with rules and stipulations. This has been one of the greatest disappointments of 2011.

I have learned that unless you have lived through a circumstance you have no idea how you will react once in the circumstance. It’s easy to assume that we know what we would do but most of the time we cannot begin to imagine the enormity of the situation.

Music calms the mind and soul. (I knew this long before 2011 but I was reminded again this year.)

Don’t ever underestimate the depravity of the human soul or the amazing healing that Love can bring.

Love is not anything like we think. Love often asks us to do the opposite of everything the world tells us is normal.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails.

Matthew 5:3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. ⁵ Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. ⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. ⁷ Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. ⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. ⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. ¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Those who are true followers of Jesus actively practice Matthew 5:39

If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. ⁴⁰ And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. ⁴¹ If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. ⁴² Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. Those who want to follow Christ wholeheartedly do this with amazing generosity.

Free will was given so that we could actively choose a relationship with God. He did not want us forced into this relationship or participate out of obligation. He wanted us to willingly come. This has been illustrated for me in my marriage this year. I do not want my husband to stay with me because it’s what is expected or he is obligated to do. I want him to stay because he chooses to participate in a relationship with me. His free will to choose tells me that he stays because he wants to.

Normal means a lot of different things. It is adjustable and ever changing. Don’t get stuck with a picture of normal and miss what your normal really is.

You don’t have to have a title to make a difference.

God created and designed me the way he wanted me to be, in the time he wanted me to live, surrounded by the people he chose. To wish for different is saying that he made a mistake.

These are some of the lessons I have learned this year. Some were eye opening revelations, some simple truths reinforced through tough times, others were just reminders of lessons previously learned.

I wish you a blessed new year filled with the lessons that God will use to fill your life with wisdom. See you in 2012.

How long is a little while?

I Peter 5:10: And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

After you have suffered a little while. So I understand the suffering part. But how long is a little while? After all in Psalms we are told that a thousand years in your sight is as a day so really, how long is a little while?

Is it when the money has run out but the bills keep coming? Is it when you have tried all the exercises your counselor has recommended but your marriage is still falling apart? Is it when Christmas is coming and you can’t afford presents for your kids? Is it when you are despised by those who you used to call friend?

Is a little while when the foreclosed sign appears in your yard? When the door closes behind your wife, as she moves out? Or the Doctor tells you they have done all they can?

Is a little while when you are accosted by a stranger and told you are worthless? Or when you are ignored by family because of your choice to stay?

A little while, I’ve used that  one too God. When my kids ask when we are leaving to run an errand, it’s not for an hour but I say, “in a little while.” When my husband asks how much longer before I come to bed I say, “in a little while.” Or when a friend asks when I am going to sit down a rest, “in a little while.” It’s a very ambiguous term. Something someone uses when they don’t want to commit themselves to a real timetable.

But you, the author of time, does a little while depend more on my response than an actual measure of time. Does a little while mean when I give up control and surrender to your plan. When I stop trying fix it myself. When I do everything you have asked me. When I am still, and acknowledge the you are God. When I give up worry, striving and anger and I allow you to shape my soul. Is this what a little while looks like to you, Lord?

If this is a little while then let me learn quickly the lessons I need to. Let me release my stronghold and let you shape me. Please Lord, let a little while only be a little while!

Mercy Over Judgment

James 2:12-14

Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, ¹³ because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

Mercy. What a wonderful word.

Mercy brings forgiveness. Judgment brings anger.

Mercy brings peace. Judgment brings sadness.

Mercy brings life-changing love that compels us to that which is better. Judgment brings resentment and a drive to continue on the destructive path that we are on.

Mercy allows the sinner a chance to repent. Judgment lays down a set of rules that have to be followed at all cost.

Mercy draws a person to you. Judgment pushes a person away.

Mercy allows a person room to fail, room to stumble. But also gives room to get up and try again. Judgment brings only shame and guilt.

Mercy says, “I understand”. Judgment say, “You’re a loser.”

Mercy gives freedom to be who you are. Judgment says. “You have to be who I want you to be.”

Mercy says, “I love you no matter what”. Judgment says, “You are unacceptable until you get your act together.

Mercy stays. Judgment leaves.

Mercy says, “Come as you are.” Judgment says, “Until you are sinless, like me, I cannot associate with you.”

Mercy always trumps Judgment.

Which way will you choose?

Do the Next Thing

This has been the hardest year of my life. Many days I would become so overwhelmed with sadness, anger and fear that I would almost be paralyzed. My mind would take trips down the what if road I would be unable to complete the basic chores on my daily list.

One day I was looking through a journal I have had since high school. In it I keep quotes, cartoons and pamphlets that are meaningful to me. I came across a pamphlet that was given to me during my husband’s seminary years. I was privileged to learn under Elisabeth Elliot.


The pamphlet is entitled Do the Next Thing. The author is unknown. I have printed it below:

At an old English parsonage down by the sea, there came in the twilight a message to me. Its quaint Saxon legend deeply engraven that, as it seems to me, teaching from heaven. And all through the hours the quiet words ring, like a low inspiration, 'Do the next thing.'
Many a questioning, many a fear, many a doubt hath its quieting here. Moment by moment, let down from heaven, time, opportunity, guidance are given. Fear not tomorrow, child of the King, trust that with Jesus, do the next thing.
Do it immediately, do it with prayer, do it reliantly, casting all care. Do it with reverence, tracing His hand, who placed it before thee with earnest command. Stayed on omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing, leave all resultings, do the next thing.
Looking to Jesus, ever serener, working or suffering be thy demeanor, in His dear presence, the rest of His calm, the light of His countenance, be thy psalm.
Do the next thing."

When I read these words I was able to get up and do the next thing on my list. I realized that I did not have to spend my time worrying. I didn’t have to allow thoughts of future events that had not happened yet from ruining my present. All I had to do was the very next thing. I had to sweep the floor, vacuum the house, care for the children or run my errands. I did not have worry.

In Matthew 6:25-34 ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?

   ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Today has enough to deal with. Focus on the tasks in front of you. If you find yourself in a situation that seems overwhelming commit it to prayer then do what you can. Sometimes the answer will be in the very next thing you do. When I allowed myself to simply do what was necessary I was less anxious and my world seemed less scary. Some of the tasks I had to do were hard.They themselves were overwhelming. But breaking them down I could look at the task in small steps instead of the whole thing. 

My year is ending better than I once imagined it would. It is different than I had planned but in the end it is turning out better than I planned.