When God created the world he created people for relationships. He created man and allowed him to realize his loneliness before he creates his perfect companion woman. We all have the God created need for intimacy and relationship.
I have found at times in my life when I have chosen isolation over relationships. There are two different ways I have isolated myself. The first being physical isolation. This is when I have chosen to separate myself from people. I have stayed home when invited to coffee. I have not returned phone calls, e-mails or texts. I have hidden in my closet to escape the closeness of the people around me. I have done this during times of intense sadness. My thought process during this time was that I didn’t want to burden those around me with my sadness. What I didn’t think about was that those around me wanted to walk with me, support me and love me. They didn’t feel burdened but honored to walk through these times with me.
The other way I have isolated myself is emotionally. For me this has been the most damaging. When I isolate myself this way I can be surrounded by people and even have what I consider to be close friends but I have only allowed people to enter a small part of my life while keeping my emotions, dreams and secrets locked away. When I have isolated myself in this way I have felt more lonely than times of physical isolation.
In Genesis when Adam is presented with Eve it says they were naked and knew no shame. They were not only physically naked but they had no secrets. They were not isolated from each other or from God.
Last year, around this time, My husband and I watched All About Steve. It’s a movie about a quirky crossword puzzle designer who falls for a man named Steve. During the movie, through a series of events, Sandra Bullock finds herself in the bottom of an abandoned mine. The area surrounding the mine quickly fills with all of the people whom she has touched by her life. When the movie was over I found myself crying. The reaction, I’m sure, was not what the creators of this comedy envisioned.
I had so isolated myself from others emotionally that I thought if I had fallen in that mine no one would have come to support my rescue. I felt completely alone. What I didn’t realize was I was entering a time in my life that was going to force me to choose isolation or relationships. Over the course of this last year events have transpires that have brought me a place of learning about myself and my tendencies to emotionally isolate. I have made different choices.
A year later I think back to that movie. I know now there are people around me who know me. They know my fears, dreams, struggles and victories. They support and encourage me when I am sad. They listen and empathies when I am angry. They celebrate when I am victorious. Our relationships are intimate because they know me. Intimacy is born out of knowledge. I know that if I fell into a mine, or whatever pitfalls will come my way, I have people who will support my rescue.
God created us to be in relationships with others. He created us to be known intimately by Him and those he puts into our lives. The enemy of our souls finds joy in our isolations. When we are isolated he can come along and exploit our weaknesses. He can convince us that isolation is good. But even in the beginning God said It is not good for man (or woman)to be alone. Don’t allow isolation to become a way of life. Surround yourself with relationships that encourage and support you. Let people see the real you. Then you will be living the life God intended.
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