Wisdom in Honoring Each Other

While watching Prince Williams wedding to Catherine Middleton I was struck not only by the beautiful dress, and elegant bearing of the couple, but by the passage of scripture that Kate's brother read. During the reading of Romans 12 he came to verse 10 which says, "Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." I began to think what it would look like if I strove to outdo my husband in showing honor. Or if I treated my children or friends in this manner.
Honor according to the dictionary means to regard or treat with admiration and respect or to give special recognition to. In most marriage vows we promise to love and honor each other. So what does a wise person do to show honor? Once we are showing honor how do we then outdo one another in showing honor? In some instances it is easy to show honor. When your husband comes home with flowers for no reason. When your kids play without fighting for hours allowing you a few minutes to work quietly. When your coworkers give your the credit you deserve for a job instead of taking it all for themselves. All of these are easy situations to show honor, after all our desires are being met. But what do you do when you have gotten 3 calls from your kids principal this week and it is only Tuesday? When your spouse will barely talk to you. Or when you know that walking into work is like entering a battle zone.
Honor does not require that you are treated correctly. It does not require that you are honored in return. It does not require that you ever receive respect at all. A wise person knows that showing honor is a choice. Treating other with admiration and respect requires them to do nothing. It is not something that is earned but something that we choose to show to others no matter how they act.
When we promise to love and honor another person just as William and Kate did on Friday we are not putting conditions on it. We are not saying when you do what I want then I will honor you. When you show me respect then I will reciprocate. No, a wise person knows that outdoing one another in showing honor starts with the decision to honor without conditions. Realizing that you may never receive honor in return but you are only responsible for what you do not what others do.