The Valley of the Shadow of Death

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me.  

You have been on the trail for a while. The journey has been good, a few bumps along the way, but nothing that has taken you off the path. Ahead you see the rise of mountains. But you have nothing to fear. The sun is on your back and you have a song on your lips.

Your companion has been with you the entire time. When you have stumbled he has picked you up. Sometimes you have had to lean heavily on him but he has never left your side.

Slowly, without warning, a shadow covers the sun. A cold breeze whispers across your face. You notice for the first time the path ahead seems covered by brush. You continue forward but reach for your companions hand. You enter the valley.

At first the darkness is manageable. After minute your eyes have adjusted and you can see the path ahead. Your companion is still there right beside you, holding your hand. But as you keep going the darkness envelopes you, you stumble, your hand rips away and you lay on the ground all alone. You cry out and your voice echoes off the canyon walls. Where did your companion go? He was just here. You reach out and feel the empty space all around you. Did he leave? Just when you needed him most he has abandoned you. You become angry. Fine, you think, I’ll do this myself. You get to your feet. Realizing that you can no longer see the path you place a hand on the wall. You feel the rocks and roots jutting out. As you journey your hand is scraped. Cut and bleeding you continue, hoping that you will see some light just ahead. As you walk branches that feel like hands keep reaching for you. You slap them away.

You begin to hope that you will encounter others. You have before and they have always been encouraging and helpful. Then a pinpoint of light comes into your view. It gets bigger as you come closer. You discover it is a lantern. A guide stands holding the lamp. You greet the guide. So happy to finally have some help. The guide starts to walk with you as you talk you notice that he is not saying anything. Finally, he turns to you and you notice the gleam in his eye. You take your next step and he sticks his foot out and trips you. Your laying on the ground, he extinguishes the lamp. Kneeling next to you he whispers in your ear, “you deserve to be here. It’s no wonder your companion left you. You didn’t actually believe him when he said he would never leave. You should have tried harder. You are worthless.” You feel more then see this guide leave. Alone again you replay the words in your mind. Slowly they sink into your heart. He’s right, you think, I never should have believed him. After all what did I really know about him? I should have just relied on myself.”

You walk on. Now your hand is bleeding, your pants are torn, legs scraped up. In your mind you rail against everyone who ever left you. You stumble again and this time you begin to sob. You determine that you will just lay here. You are too tired to continue on. You look around you and think, so this is it. You put your head down and drift off to sleep.

You waken to the feeling of being carried. The darkness still surrounds you but you know you are not alone. You rest. You know your companion has returned. “Where did you go? Why did you leave me?” “I’ve been here the whole time. I never left. I reached out to you but you slapped my hand away. I was there the whole time.” “But when I meet the guide, you let him do and say those horrible things.” “But you didn’t have to accept his assistance and you didn’t have to believe his words.”

Before long the darkness is lightened and you see the sunshine. The coldness of the valley is replaced with the warmth of the sun. The cannon replaced by a meadow and cooling spring. You look back and see the darkness. Though you have come through you still remember the feelings. You look ahead and the path seems smooth again. But are those mountains on the horizon?

Whatever has brought you to the valley, your choices, others choices or just life, our Father will be there with us. We are not alone. At times it may seem like we are. We  listen to the lies of our enemy. We begin to doubt  the goodness of God. But the Character of God does not change. In psalms David calls the Lord our Sheppard. Thousands of years later Jesus says I am the good Sheppard. He loves us. The valley may be dark but Jesus is with us.

Happily Ever After

Once Upon a Time the story begins and the beautiful princess always gets the guy. He is handsome and strong. He is able to handle the dragons, curses or simple kindness she brings into his life and in the end they live happily ever after. But did you ever wonder what happened when the shininess of the Armour began to fade.
We all present ourselves to each other with our best side showing. Our dresses and crowns beautiful. Their swords sharpened and shields polished. But as we get to know each other we begin to see the scuffed and nicked places on the shield or the torn hem on our dresses. We ask the questions and hear the stories of the battles fought, the injuries acquired and the narrow escapes that have left some scars.We have a choice at that point. We can choose to continue the hunt for someone with impeccable Armour, someone without nicks and scars. Or we can look at this Knight and see his wounds as honorable. These scars are the proof that this man is real. The rusty spots show character that has developed during the tough time in life.
In the end the Happily ever after we experience in life is accepting others for who they are, finding the beauty in the imperfections, and loving the rusty spots even as God buffs them out.

Sunday is Coming

I have loved history my whole life. When I was preschool age I asked my mom if she had been alive when Abraham Lincoln was president! I am sure she appreciated that. But one of the things I love doing is trying to put myself in the shoes of those who lived in history. Not with the 20/20 hindsight I have now but then what they must have felt knowing just the limited facts they did. I have been thinking a lot about the disciples and women who followed Jesus. What did they feel like on Saturday? Thursday had been a day of preparation and then the wonderful passover feast. Then the horrible events of Friday that had culminated in the death of Jesus. Their friend, teacher, the man they thought was the messiah. They were sure he was. He had done so many wonderful things.
Saturday morning they woke up, or at least got out of bed. Sleep had alluded them. Their eyes puffy, red and dry from crying. The faced the first day of loss. The congregated together in the upper room. Looking around they realized that no one had cleaned up since Thursday. They begin to stack dishes, throw away food that had spoiled. They looked at each other and in hushed whispers asked What do we do now? Where do we go? Do we go back to fishing, tax collecting? Do we go back to the Temple? What exactly happened to the curtain? All day they just did what had to be done. The were in shock and the future looked uncertain and bleak. They went to bed that night without hope, without a future, without joy.
Then they were woken by these mad women! What were they babbling about? He has risen. The hope flooded back. He was telling the truth! He is the Messiah! He appeared to them. He restored broken relationships between he and Peter. He commissioned them. He loved them!
Sunday was full of hope but none of that was possible without the hopelessness of Saturday. If Jesus had not died the resurrection would not have been necessary. If Jesus had not died a horrible, painful, hopeless, joyless death and let the Disciples sit in their hopeless, joyless state, the resurrection would not have been life giving, hope giving or joy giving. 
Without hopelessness in our own lives, hope has no meaning. Without periods of pain and joylessness the beauty of the resurrection would be lost. While death is never easy it brings about new life. Without Saturday, Sunday never comes. We must experience pain to understand the joy Christ brings. We must experience death to sin to understand life everlasting. We must experience Saturday's bleakness to understand Sunday's radiance. You might be living in Saturday but know with out a doubt that Sunday is coming!

Death that Brings Life

John 12:24 -Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

Death is never easy. Those who are left behind to deal with the arrangements, the feelings and the day after will attest to this. My first encounter with death came on December 28, 1981. A phone call in the middle of the night informed my parents that my Grandmother had died suddenly in her sleep. In a frantic daze my dad woke us up and got us and my shocked mom into the car. A fast car trip and we arrived at my grandparents home. My grandmother was still in her bed. My Aunts were crying and my grandfather was trying to respond to the EMT and the Coroners questions. The week that followed was filled with arrangements and spending a lot of time at my grandparents home. I was not allowed to attend her funeral but this first experience with death established family patterns that would be observed every year for the next 12 years. My large extended family shrank a little more each year. 
Death does not necessarily mean the lose of life. Death could mean the lose of a job that you have spent you life at. It could include the lose of your spouse or the ideal marriage. It could be the lose of a goal or plans you had for your children. It could be the lose of a friendship that you had come to rely on. While these deaths don't always include the loss of a person they are still painful. In many regards we may not know what prompted the lose but that does not make it less painful. 
In John 12:24 we are given the hope that through death new life can spring forth. With that in mind ask yourself the question, What in my life needs to die so that new life can spring forth? Is it the death of what you always thought your life would be? But holding onto that dream is keeping you from enjoying what your life actually is. Is it the death of a relationship or aspects of the relationship that is keeping you from experiencing love and joy that God has for you. Maybe it is the "but we have always done things this way" that is keeping you from experiencing a new program that will bring the changes in your life God is looking for. When we refuse to allow death in our lives by holding onto those things that are comfortable and don't upset our world we are not giving new life, new love, new joy a chance to live in our lives. 
Death is never easy. It always involves giving up that which we hold dear. But through death we can experience new life. So ask God where you need to experience death.  Then be willing to let him work through your pain to bring about new life. It will be well worth your effort.

Songs of Life

Growing up I was exposed to all different types of music. I learned hymns at church and praise songs at camp. I was exposed to oldies in the car rides around town and developed a love of Sinatra in my dorm room. My life story has its very own soundtrack. When I think of certain events I hear the song that I associate with them. My Dad's funeral is accompanied by It is well with my soul. The Adoption and birth of my children Etta James At Last. When I think of Jr. High its with Bon Jovi in the background.

Recently, as I have been going through a tough time in my life, I was finding comfort in the hymns of my youth. Until the day I was running an errand and heard a song on the radio that felt like God was speaking right to me. It was not on the Christian radio station but the country station I heard this song. As I have listened to it over the last few months I realized that it was speaking the truths of God and the promises of Scripture to me. The words of the song  are below under them I have included the scripture that it words remind me of. I pray that these verses encourage you and bring you hope.
So let me share it with you:
Rascal Flatt's: I won't let go

It’s like a storm

That cuts a path

It breaks your will

It feels like that

(Matthew 8:23 Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. 24 Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 25 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” 26 He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.)

You think you're lost

But you're not lost

(Luke 19:10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.)

On your own

You're not alone

(Matthew 28:20 And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.)

I will stand by you

(Psalms 109: 31For he stands at the right hand of the needy, to save their lives from those who would condemn them.)

I will help you through

(Psalms 40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.)

When you’ve done all you can do

And you can’t cope

(Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength)

I will dry your eyes

(Revelation 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.)

I will fight your fight

(II Chronicles 20:17 You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.)

I will hold you tight

( Isaiah 41:13 For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.)

And I won't let go

(John 10: 28I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. 30 I and the Father are one.”)

It hurts my heart

To see you cry

I know it’s dark

This part of life

Oh, it finds us all

But we’re too small

To stop the rain

Oh, but when it rains

(Romans 8:38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord)

Don’t be afraid to fall

I’m right here to catch you

I won't let you down

It won't get you down

You're gonna make it

Yeah, I know you can make it

(Isaiah 40: 28-31 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD   will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.)

This is where you belong

I have been a christian for most of my life. I was in church at 2 weeks old. I accepted Christ as my Savior at 4. I was Baptized at the age of 5. I spent every Sunday, Tuesday night and Wednesday night at church. At the age of 15 I publicly dedicated my life to Christ. Saying "I will go anywhere and do anything that you ask me to do." I attended Bible College. Volunteered in various church positions my whole adult life. I would tell anyone who asked that yes Jesus blood covers your sins. If you believe in Him you will be saved. But I have lived my life with a secret.
While I believe that Jesus blood covered my sins to save me. I have felt that since my salvation the blood has not reached far enough to cover my sins. I have felt that while Jesus loves the worst sinner. He only felt slightly warm toward me. I needed to do a lot to prove myself good enough to be allowed the privileged of  being called his child. So I worked really hard. And when I sinned I confessed and I tried to figure out what I would need to do to make it up to God. I have lived my entire adult life with these thought.
When I think of God I see in my mind a large room with a big, comfortable, overstuffed chair. It happens to be green. God sit in this chair and is surrounded by his children. Those that are good enough to be close to the chair get to tell God anything they want and he hears them. A little further out is another circle of children who talk and get heard. The children go further out and as you get out here sometimes what you say get drowned out by the others. I have often pictured myself in this room. But not in the first or second circle. No I am huddled in the corner wearing tattered rags, shivering from the cold and crying. I have been let into the room but just barely. And I certainly do not have any right to approach the chair. Recently though, My picture has changed. For you see God himself, came down from the chair. He walked past the other children. He walked all the way to the back of the room and into the corner where I was huddled. He bent down and picked me up. He replaced my rags with new shining close. He wrapped me in a blanket and carried me back to the front of the room. He sat down in the chair with me on his lap. He said, "This is where you belong. You placed yourself in that corner. And I have been watching you. I never said that you needed to be there. When you became a child of mine you received all the rights and the permission to approach me anytime you wanted. You put the rules on yourself and slowly moved into the corner. This is where you belong my child. Right here." So today I am resting in the lap of my God.

Go and sin no more

John 8:2-11.
   ² At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. ³ The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group ⁴ and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵ In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” ⁶ They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
   But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. ⁷ When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” ⁸ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
   ⁹ At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ¹⁰ Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
   ¹¹ “No one, sir,” she said.
   “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

A woman caught in sin. Brought as a trap to Jesus. This is the only time in scripture that it is recorded that Jesus wrote. After hearing the accusations brought by these men, Jesus begin to write. The big question is what is he writing. The righteous men keep questioning Jesus. "Well," one of them says, "The law is clear she must be stoned. Don't you think so teacher?"  "Will you pick up a stone teacher?" Finally, Jesus stands and says If you have never committed a sin than go ahead and throw your stones. He bends again and writes more. As then men around him process what he said and what he is writing they begin to drop the stones and leave. Jesus, the only one qualified to throw a stone, tells the woman that she is not condemned and that not only is she not condemned she is also forgiven.
So what does he write? I think that as the woman stands there, half naked, scared, shivering, a little panic stricken she is watching Jesus as well. Jesus begins to write Levi, cheated a man who bought a lamb from his stall. Joshua, gets angry and lashes out at his kids. David, lied to the priest. He does not condemn the woman whose blatant sin is standing before him. But those who have come, forgetting their own sin, to destroy the sinner. I have no proof that this is what Jesus was writing but it makes sense to me. Because how many times could he add my name to the list. How many times have I heard of someone else's sin and thought they really need to pay for what they've done. And Jesus looks at me and writes my name in the dust. Karen, Sinner saved by grace. Grace that was bought with a hefty price. Karen, If you are without sin then go ahead and cast the first stone.
The other question this passage always brings up is well did she go and leave her sin? While I can't imagine that an encounter with the living God would not have changed her life forever, the real question is do I? Have I gone and sinned no more? Or am I live those me standing in condemnation of others without looking at my own life and my own sin.
A wise person will, with love and grace and compassion, look at those around them and drop their stones and walk away. Jesus does not condemn the woman who could not hide her sin. He condemns those who pretend that they are without sin.